Roots

I’m tired…and I don’t mean from yesterday’s 153km ride. I’m tired and need to make a change. I’m tired of #vanlife, of being of no fixed address, of not having a home or a community to call my own. I’m tired of having to rely on the generosity of friends for water, a shower, laundry, an internet connection or even just a dry place with a table to sit and do work. I’m tired of living a life that effectively prevents me from meeting that special someone. This isn’t something new; I’ve voiced it aloud to several friends over the past couple of years.

To be clear, I don’t hold any animosity for the nomadic lifestyle I’ve been living these ten years. The places I’ve been, the things I’ve seen, the people I’ve met are those I will always remember. Those experiences have had a huge impact shaping the person I am today. Rather, it’s what I crave that leads me.

I need a place to call home. I need a community I can invest in. I need a place I can share a life with someone special. I need to belong somewhere and to invest in that place/people. I’d also rather like to live a life that isn’t basically camping on wheels.

For a couple of years now, I’ve been ruminating about how to make a permanent life for myself in Texas. Every avenue I looked at had rather insurmountable roadblocks. I didn’t have the money to buy Jon’s business. I didn’t qualify for any of the work permits, I’m certainly not about to get married. I love my desert life with all my heart, the people there truly have become my family. But I feel as though at every turn there is something blocking that from happening.

The events of the last six months or so have given me even greater reason to pause and consider where I’d like to make roots. America’s handling of the Covid19 pandemic, Donald Trump, gun violence, civil unrest; I truly believe the violent implosion of America as we know it is near. And it’s gonna be ugly.

Heck, at this point I don’t know if I’ll even be able to return to The States this fall…or that I will even want to.

An important lesson I’ve learned over the years and am trying to implement is to appreciate what I do have instead of lamenting what I don’t.

Sitting on a friend’s porch as it rains here in Prince Edward County, I can identify so much that I have here in Canada. On the grand scheme, I live in a country that recognizes that the individual is best served by broad social policies like public education, public health and public lands. I certainly feel that my government is handling this pandemic better than south of the border. Knowing that if I did get sick it wouldn’t bankrupt me is a nice feeling, too.

My brother and his family are just a few hours away and I want to continue to be a part of my nephews’ life. I have old friends in Ottawa and a huge community of friends in Toronto I can visit. Here in The County I’m making new friends while deepening the bonds I’ve enjoyed for many years with several others. I own land where I’ve made Camp and will always have the connection that my mother established in this idyllic part of Ontario.

She said it felt out of the blue; never even imagined generic order viagra by her. Surveys found that more than half of males above 40 have ED tadalafil 5mg india or low erection problems. In spite of this you can also catch this solution cost of viagra to control your sickness. Every dose contains different amount levitra free shipping of sildenafil citrate so that desired results can be acquired.

So, shit or get off the pot, right?

Well, I’ve quit my job at the bike shop to start my own window cleaning business–The County Window Cleaner–and it’s going well so far. I’ve been hired by the local Victim Services agency as a Crisis Intervention Volunteer and hope to get out on calls this month. Although my intention is to continue snow-birding to Texas every winter, knowing that I may not even be able to return there this fall means I’m having to think about what winter in Canada might look like. An apartment, a fat-bike(I just puked in my mouth a little bit just saying that) some cross country skis and more thermal underwear is what it might looks like.

These are weird, uncertain, anxious times for us all. More than ever before, none of us knows what the future may hold. I believe, however, that this global crisis is giving us all the opportunity to re-evaluate what is and what is not truly important to us. Health care, public safety, family, mental health, personal meaning in daily activities are all of greater importance today than they were in January. It’s with that perspective that I look to the days ahead.

Oh, yeah, it also means I’m considering the future of www.bowlingbybike.com ….