Life; It Happens
We all take things for granted. Big things and little things, we just expect life to continue along as it always has. Be it cell phone service, our eyesight or our spouse, we just expect that each day will be like the last. However, life ain’t like that; it changes, it happens. Shit happens. The only thing we can control is how we deal with life’s little route changes.
For weeks now it has been [relatively]cold, grey and even raining down here in the desert. As mentioned in prior posts, Isabelle had been sent back to Moots for repairs, leaving me with my “B” bike, Sassy Sally the Single-Speed Sadist. Furthermore, for nearly two weeks I was laid-up with a terrible cold, reaching temperatures as high as 102deg/F while I shivered under heavy blankets. Taken together, it felt like I hadn’t really ridden my bike in about two months. I was miserable and probably not that much fun to be around.
Cycling is what I do, it’s who I am, it has always been there and, like cell phone service or my eyesight, I expect it to be there whenever I demand it. For the past several weeks, however, that which I always took for granted has been unavailable. Being kept from the bike for so long and for so many reasons was simply inconceivable, nothing should prevent me from riding except my own inclination. That, my friends, is life. Deal with it and move on or be miserable. You decide, I decide.
Sunday–after an eternity plus a day–I was back on my bike, back on Isabelle. The skies were blue and the temperature was ideal. Kt was on her bike for just the second time in three months. Our group of five took it easy, none of us really wanting to exert ourselves too greatly. We kept a very moderate pace while we enjoyed our stops chatting and hanging out. It was just as it should be.
While I rode, while we chatted and laughed and played within the desert’s loving arms, I felt my world coming back together. All was right again, all was as it ought to be. Everything was as I demanded, as I expected it to be. So, I slowed down. I stopped my mind and tried to let go of the expectations. I closed my eyes to what I demanded, realizing that it was just those very expectations that had made me miserable in the first place. What I needed to do, was just ride, not think, just ride. Easier said than done. But, like anything in life, no-one said it would be easy, just worth it.
So, for the rest of the ride, I tried to just enjoy myself, and not because I was healthy and riding, but because life was happening, and life really is a beautiful thing to behold. In the rides since then, I’ve tried to do the same. To let go and simply ride, just be. It’s a lesson valuable not only on the bike, but in everything we do. Without those nasty expectations, the absence of cell-service is a blessing; the colours and images of the world take on special meaning, even the most mundane; we stop expecting things of our spouse or loved ones and begin to accept them as they are and love them dearly for it.
It is such a hard thing to do, to let go of expectations, particularly those we make of ourselves. I know I’ve got my work cut out for me. But damn it, life is just too magical to worry about it. It’ll happen, no matter what, whether we like it or not.
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